It may be an intimate wedding for 20 or a bash for 2,000. In every case, you've invited close friends and family to celebrate your union. Here's some insider tips on how to massage jealous egos, confront difficult in-laws, deal with over-bearing family, and maintain control.
WEDDING SECRET #53. A UNITED FRONT IS KEY.
Friends and family may approach both bride and groom about the same issue, seeking the most favorable response. Talk with your future spouse and provide a reply "from the both of us."
WEDDING SECRET #54. WHO PAYS DOESN'T ALWAYS CALLS THE SHOTS.
Many years ago the bride's family would pay for the wedding, and the groom's family would pay for the rehearsal dinner. Nowadays the couple is often footing the whole bill. Your wedding will probably fall somewhere in between. So does accepting contributions mean loss of control?
It doesn't have to be that way. Establish guidelines BEFORE accepting any money. Explain that you are open to advice and suggestions, but ultimately the most important decisions (location, formality, food) rest with the couple.
WEDDING SECRET #55. HOW TO STOP THE RUNAWAY GUEST LIST.
The best way to halt a growing guest list: choose a reception site with limited capacity. The hordes of guest list crashers will understand.
WEDDING SECRET #56. SOME OF YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY MAY RESENT YOU. HERE'S THE RESENTMENT REMEDY.
It may be the odd remark or the ashen look when you talk about your wedding dreams, but rest assured that the insecure friend or single mom may not be so happy for you. Give these folks some love, and something to do! Ask them for help in their area of expertise, make them feel part of what you're doing.
WEDDING SECRET #57. THE WEDDING PARTY IS FORMED FROM LOVE, NOT OBLIGATION.
Brides may feel pressure to involve people out of obligation instead of genuine desire. This puts unreasonable expectations and stress on the bride and the person who lacks the interest to be part of the wedding party. Only involve reliable "nearest and dearest" friends and family members.
WEDDING SECRET #58. THANK DAD AT THE REHEARSAL DINNER.
Tradition gives Dads rather limited roles at weddings. Take the time to acknowledge their contributions to your lives during this intimate gathering before the wedding day hoopla.
WEDDING SECRET #59. SAVE THE CHILDREN. SAVE YOURSELVES.
If the idea of children at your wedding provokes nightmares, ask the ceremony and reception site about alternative areas for the young ones.
WEDDING SECRET #60. PITFALL: OVERLY-PLANNED RECEPTIONS MAKE FOR TENSE GUESTS.
A timeline is helpful for keeping guests and the program moving. Invariably you'll hit a snag here and a delay there; keep it loose and your guests will too.
WEDDING SECRET #61. SET THE TONE AT THE CEREMONY.
Happiness is contagious. After you have exchanged vows and face the crowd, take this crucial moment to smile and smile some more as you walk down the aisle past well-wishers. They will be more apt to get into that celebratory mood.
WEDDING SECRET #62. ASSIGN PEOPLE TABLES, NOT CHAIRS.
This isn't elementary school or an airplane ride. Give your guests a break.
WEDDING SECRET #63. SPREAD THE TALKERS AROUND.
Spur conversations and keep it lively by mixing the minglers with the mums. This accomplishes two goals at once: the talkers will not overwhelm your party with noise from one table, and the introverts won't create eerie dead spots.
WEDDING SECRET #64. HOW TO ENCOURAGE TOASTS, NOT SPEECHES.
You've seen it, or you've heard about it: the drunk friend that rambles on about your ex, the crazy uncle that lurches from one disjointed story to another. Take the time to speak with your most talkative friends BEFORE your wedding day and plan the toast schedule. Also, remind them that simple is best, and avoid inside jokes / references that nobody gets.
WEDDING SECRET #65. WHEN TO LEAVE THE RECEPTION.
Tradition holds that once the cake is cut, you're free to go. Some couples turn their wedding into a weekend celebration that ends when friends and family depart. If you have invited many guests from out of town, be a good host and STAY at the reception for at least an hour after the cake is cut. They've come to spend time with you.
101 WEDDING SECRETS
