Oh, your wedding day! It's a great symbol of beginnings, of
a shared future, paved with opportunity and promise.
Bridesimagine a princess-gown and rose petals strewn over a
provincial estate. That's the fairy-tale version. In
reality, many couples feel overwhelmed by the wedding
planning challenges and the obstacles ahead. Many couples
focus entirely on this single day and lose the BIGGER idea
you're getting married. Start your emotional and financial
partnership the right way, or put a damper on your honeymoon
and your marriage!
WEDDING SECRET #1. MAKE YOUR WEDDING DAY YOURS.
Every couple must balance the competing interests of two
sets of friends and family, likes and dislikes. Remember,
your wedding day should REFLECT who you both are. You're not
going to please everyone so don't even try. Whew. That was
tough wasn't it?
WEDDING SECRET #2. A FIRM BUDGET IS BETTER THAN A TIGHT BUDGET.
You may be on Park Ave., Main St. or even around the way -- in every case a firm budget keeps you focused on the prize. Don't expect the bride's father to
cover EVERYTHING -- unless he's truly in a position to do so. How will expenses be shared? Write the budget down, and remain disciplined about it.
WEDDING SECRET #3. YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO INTO DEBT FOR THE "BEST DAY OF YOUR LIVES.
Many couples justify debt because they want their wedding memories "to
last a lifetime." Unfortunately, the debt paymentsevery
month are ironic reminders of their wedding. It's easy to
avoid this: don't say "I do" to debt.
WEDDING SECRET #4. SHARE YOUR PLANS WITH THOSE WHO NEED TO KNOW.
Be realistic about your
budget before spreading the word to hundreds of potential
well-wishers, such as friends at work,distant cousins and
your mailman.
WEDDING SECRET #5. DON'T FIGHT ABOUT MONEY.
The bottom line is often a dividing line. It's too easy to battle over every detail in order to fit in that luxury that's important to you. Compromise is the key to a successful wedding -- and a successful marriage.
WEDDING SECRET #6. GIVE YOURSELF ENOUGH TIME TO DO IT RIGHT. START EARLY.
It sounds fun to elope to a faraway place and come back "just married." But if that's not an option, don't rush through your plans for the wedding. Cramming will only lead to stress and compromises you DON'T have to make. Allow at least 9 months to prepare.
WEDDING SECRET #7. NARROW YOUR LIST OF WEDDING IDEAS.
The bride and groom must make wish lists for their "ideal wedding" day. Then compare. Do you want a big blowout, or a casual, intimate gathering 3,000 miles from home?
WEDDING SECRET #8. SET THE DATE, BUT DON'T LET THE DATE SET YOU UP.
Most couples have special days of the year -- their first date, their first kiss, perhaps the day they re-united after a long-distance relationship. But don't let a special date control your planning. Why? First, the most popular ceremony and reception sites are booked months in advance -- often over a year. Second, the most popular months for weddings are: April, May, June, September, October and November. These peak months demand peak prices! Moreover, the people who book dates know that a "special date" can mean "special profits" for them. It's like shopping for a new car don't tell the saleswoman it has to be green, because it'll cost you a little extra green to make it so!
WEDDING SECRET #9. AVOID A HOLIDAY WEDDING.
While you may appreciate the extra day or two, your guests will battle overbooked hotels, airport delays and heavy traffic on holiday weekends.
WEDDING SECRET #10. BE RUTHLESS ABOUT YOUR GUEST LIST.
While it's very possible to save a lot of money by inviting 20 people to a ceremony in the dead of January, for most people this just isn't right. This is a serious challenge: keeping the guest list under control. First, decide what kind of wedding you both want: a small, intimate gathering, or a large gala event. Next, the bride and groom each make a list of friends and family, divided into "MUST INVITE" and "WANT TO INVITE."
Now you have an approximate number. If this is too many, pleae remember this: your wedding day is for you, your families and close friends to share. Start cutting that "WANT TO INVITE" list. Typically, the people at weddings are divided by thirds: 1/3 is the bride's family, 1/3 is the groom's, and the remaining 1/3 is split among friends and colleagues. Don't know who to cut first? Try business acquaintances, parents of friends, distant relatives, and those who live more than 3 hours away.
WEDDING SECRET #11. USE AVAILABLE RESOURCES.
Sometimes it's not what you know that counts, it's who. Ask the people who love you to help. This doesn't mean asking Big Brother for an extra $5,000. It means if Uncle Fred owns a limousine service, ask him to skip a gift at the registry and provide transportation. If Mom is a crafts-queen, ask her to design the centerpieces (you'll buy the materials).
WEDDING SECRET #12. HOW TO RECOGNIZE THAT YOU MAY NEED A WEDDING CONSULTANT.
If the couple lacks time and/or the organizational skills to plan a wedding, a full-service wedding consultant is the answer. Planning a wedding is a logistical and emotional challenge. Without ample time to research the various options, a time-poor couple is headed for disaster.
A true wedding consultant will attend to every detail, identify the right vendors, find the right ceremony and reception sites, and help choose the right wedding dress.
That said, an event coordinator for the wedding day is great for small weddings (under 50 guests) or destination weddings (where the ceremony and reception is controlled by a resort staff)
101 WEDDING SECRETS
